But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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