Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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