Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
