dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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