Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
