Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
