Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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