Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
