we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
As shirtless as possible
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
