She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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