HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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