Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
