There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
