so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
This is the high leading the old right now
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
