so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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