I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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