Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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