You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
