You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
