i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
