It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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