oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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