Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
