I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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