After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
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