I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
