The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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