That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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