maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
