I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I want a musical about memes.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
