My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize