Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize