Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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