You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
