I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
