trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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