She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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