Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
