I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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