You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
