Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i think im in europe. pls send help
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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