I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
she smelled like a LAN party
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
