East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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