Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
