we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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