I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
