my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
