Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
