my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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