I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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