remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
