There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
my shit smells like andre
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
