So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
