Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Panties = found
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
