at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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