I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
